Insecurity will destroy anything and everything in its path…
You might be thinking what does feeling insecure have todo with being an empath? Well first of all, you can’t fulfill your mission here properly if your still struggling with it. I’m going to set you up to never feel insecure about yourself again and allow you to truly set yourself free!
We came to the planet to understand this human experience and to truly empathize with the deepest most intense human experiences, emotions and pains. I would say insecurity, loneliness and addiction are the top 3 human experiences that all really “get us” at some point on our journey. Just like everything else, we feel things deeper, more intensely and more passionately. The pleasure and the pain.
We see this realm so differently from others, this alone can lead us to a feeling of not fitting in. When you aren’t aware that you posses this empathic gift, you just feel different, not special. Causing insecurities and self-esteem issues to form.
If I would have understood what I was experiencing and what my purpose was sooner, the pain would have stopped sooner. Confusion tends to lead to fear.
I visualize our subconscious as a funnel with lots of “filter” layers.
[Each “filter” layer consists of a belief that is either limiting you or serving you.
Every experience you have goes through this funnel of filters and the way you either react or respond, is a direct result of being processed through these filters.]
These “filters” build and build and build on each other, from childhood to adolescents, in our 20’s, so on and so on… They keep stacking on top of eachother, basically until we become consciously aware of their existence and then we have to go back. The goal is to one by one, remove any of the “filters” that are limiting you and replace them with ones that serve your highest self.
Keeping an “insecurity” filter is a death sentence.
Either you kill it and you live OR you let it live and it kills you!
The facts are, your in control of your filters and you get to remove and replace them, anytime you need to.
If there is any filter that needs to be replaced it’s the ones that are causing you to feel insecure. Particularly because they are emotionally unstable, anytime we are experiencing life and it goes through these insecurity filters, we are just emotionally reacting, when we need to be responding.
Something I teach about on my Instagram is how to train your mind to be stronger than your emotions or else, you lose yourself every time. Your ability to react vs respond determines the smoothness or the bumpiness, of the road you travel, on your journey.
The truth of the matter is, no one is coming to rescue you from yourself:
Your inner demons, your lack of confidence, your dissatisfaction with yourself and your life are your responsibility. Only self love and good decisions will rescue you.
So how do you start the process of removing this “insecurity” filter, for good?
There’s something I call the Process Pyramid: Release, Reset and Reframe
First and foremost you have to surrender and release: So cry, let it all out! I love to cry in the shower, I visualize the pain and the hurt washing away and going down the drain. I tend to stay there until I feel depleted, like I have nothing left…
Then it’s time to Reset: Do some meditation, take out your journal and start understanding what happened, I like to try to find the event or starting point of trauma.
Then your going to Reframe: Your going go back to that painful experience and reframe it with your enlightened adult conscious mind.
I’m going to give you an example, I was very insecure about my body and my weight growing up. [side note: Empaths actually tend to have more of “pooch” in their stomach area, due to solar plexus energy build up, but I’ll go into this deeper another day].
So, I had to identify where this insecurity actually began and I remember it like it was yesterday! There was this boy I liked and I was supposed to go and talk to him at his table turning lunch [I was in the 7th grade]. Anyways, I got my friend to let me borrow this super cute lavender shirt and I was all excited and I remember I walked up to his table and the first thing he did before I could even say “hi” was stick is finger in my little pooch and make the pillsbury doughboy sound.
I mean, I was devastated.
I was embarrassed.
I was sick to my stomach.
I honestly can’t remember what happened after that, because I just shut down.
And “that” was the beginning of a decade long battle with an eating disorder that inevitably dominoed into insecurity, low self-esteem, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, self sabotage…
I got to a point where I was going to die if I didn’t surrender. So I did. But I didn’t do anything else. It wasn’t until I was taught this process of Release, Reset and Reframe that I truly begin my healing journey. I released and I cried and I let it all out and then I went inward to understand how it all started, so that I could reset and then reframe.
I actually saw that same boy less than a year after that initial experience and he had gained over 100 pounds. I just remember being kind of surprised but I was so far in my own head and so deep in my pain at that point, that I didn’t even realize what had happened. So with my adult mind I was able to realize that karma had actually played out for me. That he got exactly what he made me feel, almost instantly. FOR THE FIRST TIME I STARTED TO QUESTION HOW POWERFUL I ACTUALLY WAS?!
Reframing provides you an understanding and a closure, that you can then move forward from.
So where do we go from here?
STEP 1. You have to Believe that You Are Love… and start acting like it:
eat like you love yourself
move like you love yourself
speak like you love yourself
think like you love yourself
forgive like you love yourself
be gentle like you love yourself
be patient like you love yourself
love others like you love yourself
own yourself like you love yourself
trust yourself like you love yourself
follow your heart like you love yourself
believe in yourself like you love yourself
remove negative comparisons like you love yourself
just start practicing it and you will start to believe it and ultimately become it!
Are You functioning from a place love or a place of fear?!
Step 2. MAKE GOOD DECISIONS: Implementing a High Vibrational lifestyle that supports your gift and your highest self is crucial to feeling confident and accomplished. Living out of alignment doesn’t feel good at all, you’ll know. The best way to do this, is to make choices that raise your vibration. You should be eating organic nutrient-dense nutrition, drinking plenty of clean [preferably alkaline] water, exercising, stretching, meditating and practicing sensual self care. Also eliminate ALL unnecessary stresses and toxins from your environment and MOST IMPORTANTLY have more fun!
Step 3. Connect to Source: Having a relationship and a connection to Source [God, spirit, angels… whomever you resonate with], really just diminishes all that outside noise that just doesn’t matter. Your journey and what’s best for you isn’t going to be like anyone else, so stop comparing and PLEASE stop asking people who have not been where you are going for directions!
Step 4. Embrace Your Darkness: So that you can understand its message! Our society has taught us that darkness is bad and scary that we should run away from it and that only evil exists in the dark and that you have to choose sides. Pick one and dismiss the other… by the way, that’s the worst advice ever!! We all have darkness in us, you have to stare it in the face or it will chase us down and force us to. Until you realize it’s not scary at all, it’s just you, a part of you to learn from, that has shaped you, it will control you. We must learn to dance with our shadow self. THAT BITCH IS SCARY-CRAZY-COOL, I THINK YOU’LL LIKE HER ALOT ONCE YOU GIVE HER A CHANCE!
Why does darkness have to be scary? I love the dark, its beautiful. I’ve always had an intimate relationship with the moon. Fireworks wouldn’t be as beautiful in the light, as they are in the dark. There is beauty and magic all around us, in the light, in the dark… it’s there for you to appreciate and to make your life more magical, we have to embrace it!
TO THINK THAT WE CAN DENY A POWERFUL ELEMENT OF LIFE,
LIKE DARKNESS AND STILL BE FULL… IS NAIVE.
I also want you to understand something, your past isn’t who you are, it’s only where you have been. It doesn’t matter if the past was years ago or if it was yesterday, it has served its purpose. You have to give up the habit of defining yourself based on what you encountered in the past, how you were treated or what you did. Redefine yourself now as the person that you’re becoming. Your not a product of your past, your a result of your present choices.
Instead of being held back by your past, be pulled forward by your future.
If you would like to watch the video version of this post CLICK HERE